Use these jokes to get your patients laughing!
1. When a speaker arrived at the banquet, he seated himself at the head table only to realize that he had forgotten to put in his false teeth.
He was in a state of panic as it just wouldn’t do to have a speaker with no teeth talking about dental hygiene. And besides, most people didn’t understand him very well without his teeth.
He managed to explain the situation to the man seated next to him, and was about to leave for home to get his teeth, when the man smiled and said, “No problem, I just happen to have a spare. Try these on,” and the man passed the speaker a pair of dentures.
The speaker couldn’t believe his luck. He tried on the dentures but they didn’t fit well. “They’re too loose,” he said.
“No worries,” the man said. He reached into another pocket and produced another pair of dentures. “Try these.”
The speaker had no idea why the man would be carrying two sets of dentures with him. He tried on the second pair but they were too tight.
“Okay, I have got one last pair,” the man said. And he produced a third set of dentures from his briefcase.
They were a perfect fit. The rest of the evening went by without a hitch, with the speaker giving a flawless speech and rounding it off with a great dinner.
At the end of the evening, the speaker thanked the man and since they were in the same profession, asked for his name card.
“Oh, you’re mistaken,” said the man. “I’m not a dentist. I’m the local undertaker.”
2. A young dentist had just started his own clinic.
He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
Sitting there, he saw a man come into the front office. Wanting to appear to be the “busy dentist”, the gentleman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had to give an appointment.
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”
The man said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate the phone.”
3. A husband and wife entered the dentist’s office.
The husband said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”
“You’re a brave man,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.”
The husband opened mouth and pointed to a tooth.
“Open wider,” requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient.
“Good God!” he said startled. “You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen – the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen.”
“OK Doc!” replied the patient. “I’m scared enough without you saying something like that twice.”
“I didn’t!” said the dentist. “That was the echo.”
4. A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging for a favor.
Dentist: Could you help me out? Could you give me a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Doctor, it wasn't at all bad this time.
Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game.
5. Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don’t worry it will just take five minutes.
Patient: And how much will it cost?
Dentist: It’s $500.
Patient: $500 for just a few minutes’ work??
Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.
6. After cleaning his patient’s teeth, the dentist accompanied the 5-year-old boy to the reception area, only to see him struggle with the oak door.
“It’s heavy, isn’t it?” asked the dentist.
“Yes,” he said. “Is that so children can’t escape?”
7. Yes 4 out of 5 dentists recommend sugar free gum to their patients who chew gum, but we all wonder what the 5th dentist thinks, right?
He says, "Eat all the sugar you want, it keeps me in business!"
8. Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures.
Patient: Okay doc, but don’t forget to send your bill to the other man.
9. While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner office smiling.
Nodding to me, she said, “Thank goodness my work is complete. I’m so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who’s so gentle and understanding too.”
When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident to the doctor.
He laughed and explained, “Oh, that was just my mother.”
10. A patient sits in the dental chair with severely fractured front teeth.
After discussing how they will be restored and what the fee would be the patient says, “Before we begin, Doc, I gotta know: Will I be able to play the trumpet when you are finished?”
Dentist: Sure, you will!
Patient: Great, I couldn’t play a note before!
